Tag Archives: random

Summer Staycation: The Dollar Tree Store.

Rather than vacation abroad, like the Roosevelt’s on their epic Nile cruise or Krakauer’s Everest summit, we reluctantly decide to remain home, visit the cheapest home country attraction–Dollar Tree.  Call me penurious. Having spent what feels like 2hrs 45mins parading … Continue reading

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Snow Blower Politics.

This recent blast of snow reminds me of many things.  Aside from the initial beauty of snow, school closings and imposed lethargy, a gas-fueled beast reigns–the  snow blower. If you have one, you possess the premier Winter accompaniment.  Basically, you’re … Continue reading

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When Parenting Doesn’t Suck.

Bottom line?  Kids are maniacal, horrifying sub-humans hell bent on destroying our lives. They consistently push boundaries to the point where we lose it, consider leaving them adrift–one more word… AND YOU’RE LIVING IN THE STREETS!!  …Um, seems like I forgot the … Continue reading

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Kids + BAND-AIDS = Unbridled Obsession.

I recently posted about kids and elevators highlighting their fascination with pressing buttons, transporting themselves up and down, a complete joke to adults.  But kids freaking love this vertical crap.  What else do kids dig?  BAND-AIDS.  This is totally appropriate … Continue reading

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Kids and Elevators.

There’s nothing more intoxicating for kids than an elevator ride. Pressing buttons, freaking out, the range of emotions expressed during a short ride between floors is cause for drunken celebration, whacked-out posture, even inebriated fear.  They live for this sh*t. … Continue reading

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Wisdom Teeth: The Adult Pull.

I awake from the IV a dazed giddy madman, demanding my “book.” Continue reading

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Counting Cars.

Always on the look-out for ways to keep the kids occupied, I institute new programs on the fly.  Some of you may remember last month’s installment, How To Control Kids: Question Quotas, a fine breach of free speech.  A far … Continue reading

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