Tag Archives: random

Summer Staycation: The Dollar Tree Store.

Posted on July 23, 2017 by Deep as a Birdbath

Rather than vacation abroad, like the Roosevelt’s on their epic Nile cruise or Krakauer’s Everest summit, we reluctantly decide to remain home, visit the cheapest home country attraction–Dollar Tree.  Call me penurious. Having spent what feels like 2hrs 45mins parading … Continue reading →

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Snow Blower Politics.

Posted on February 9, 2017 by Deep as a Birdbath

This recent blast of snow reminds me of many things.  Aside from the initial beauty of snow, school closings and imposed lethargy, a gas-fueled beast reigns–the  snow blower. If you have one, you possess the premier Winter accompaniment.  Basically, you’re … Continue reading →

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When Parenting Doesn’t Suck.

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

Bottom line?  Kids are maniacal, horrifying sub-humans hell bent on destroying our lives. They consistently push boundaries to the point where we lose it, consider leaving them adrift–one more word… AND YOU’RE LIVING IN THE STREETS!!  …Um, seems like I forgot the … Continue reading →

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Kids + BAND-AIDS = Unbridled Obsession.

Posted on August 2, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

I recently posted about kids and elevators highlighting their fascination with pressing buttons, transporting themselves up and down, a complete joke to adults.  But kids freaking love this vertical crap.  What else do kids dig?  BAND-AIDS.  This is totally appropriate … Continue reading →

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Kids and Elevators.

Posted on July 6, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

There’s nothing more intoxicating for kids than an elevator ride. Pressing buttons, freaking out, the range of emotions expressed during a short ride between floors is cause for drunken celebration, whacked-out posture, even inebriated fear.  They live for this sh*t. … Continue reading →

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Wisdom Teeth: The Adult Pull.

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

I awake from the IV a dazed giddy madman, demanding my “book.” Continue reading →

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Counting Cars.

Posted on April 19, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

Always on the look-out for ways to keep the kids occupied, I institute new programs on the fly.  Some of you may remember last month’s installment, How To Control Kids: Question Quotas, a fine breach of free speech.  A far … Continue reading →

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How To Control Kids: Question Quotas.

Posted on March 29, 2015 by Deep as a Birdbath

Whether you’re a parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent, or some other source of influence on children, you know kids are wild cards, unruly quasi-citizens who require reigning-in.  Without structured discipline these diminutive devils will run us into the ground.  I’m all … Continue reading →

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Comic Sans Must Die!!!

Posted on November 15, 2014 by Deep as a Birdbath

I’ve had it.  I mean it.  And I’m not alone.  Just Google the title of this post.  People are pissed!  They’ve gone so far as paying for domain names like bancomicsans.com and comicsanscriminal.com, advancing their campaign to the web in … Continue reading →

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Dead Goldfish: A Harrowing True Story.

Posted on August 22, 2014 by Deep as a Birdbath

The death of any child’s pet is cause for concern, be it dog, cat, ferret, crustacean, or in our case, the frighteningly disposable goldfish.  The death of Dashey, Jack’s morbidly obese goldfish, is not only a familial loss, it’s a … Continue reading →

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