Rather than vacation abroad, like the Roosevelt’s on their epic Nile cruise or Krakauer’s Everest summit, we reluctantly decide to remain home, visit the cheapest home country attraction–Dollar Tree. Call me penurious.
Having spent what feels like 2hrs 45mins parading my three children through the already bruised and battered aisles–a true retail nightmare–we settle on saccharine-fueled crap. They’re happy. Me? I’m pleased to put this luxurious outing in rear view. But let’s get back, discover the real reason why these creatures possess currency, the everliving almighty dollar.
Just last night, while cresting a congested highway artery, an ill-advised bribe occurs, a cash carrot in exchange for the nearly unobtainable–blessed silence. An atypical ride home, silence reigns. The toll is paid. Once home, asleep, consumerism informs their dreams.
Wakey-wakey! The next morning around 7am, confronted by what seems like ubiquitous flapping George Washingtons, Dollar Tree enters the conversation. After lengthy, spirited discussion a stunned silence rifles throughout the house, heartbreaking news–not open till 11am?! Wut?! To be truthful they open at 9am. Like any good parent, we string-out this staycation.
Turn “errands” into staycations. CVS runs for Mucinex, ShopRite for a quick Redbox, even Petco for some heavy petting, all work well in service of what’s needed most–leisure time.