Category Archives: Gripes

Vacuuming Play-Doh, and Other Parental Horrors.

Wait, just wait. Wait for that freaking cosmic miasma of Play-Doh to dry and become brittle, then vacuum.  A quick slough test should allay any fears. Vacuuming any sooner will result in your own personal Chernobyl.  FACT. It’s crazy, the … Continue reading

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A Vacuum Funeral.

The History Channel’s wildly popular series “Vikings” offers a raucous re-telling of dominance, reportedly the Norman conquest of England by 1066. Not sure about these details as I’m consulting Wikipedia.  Regardless, a Viking funeral is likely a sight to behold.  … Continue reading

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About 10 Items or Less?

We’ve all been there, subject to those who undermine math, the scofflaw jack-asses hell-bent on skirting the system.  Some humanoid in front of us unfurls 20+ egregious items, free from compunction, grinning four-thousand teeth astride the check-out aisle.  We boil … Continue reading

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Wisdom Teeth: The Adult Pull.

I awake from the IV a dazed giddy madman, demanding my “book.” Continue reading

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Comic Sans Must Die!!!

I’ve had it.  I mean it.  And I’m not alone.  Just Google the title of this post.  People are pissed!  They’ve gone so far as paying for domain names like bancomicsans.com and comicsanscriminal.com, advancing their campaign to the web in … Continue reading

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Side Effects ( ( ( ( ((May)) ) ) ) ) Occur.

Assuming you’re not Superman or Woman, it’s likely you’ve “benefited” from some form of pharmaceutical.  Born on Krypton, bereft of it on Earth, you don’t need pharmaceuticals.  Or do you?  What’s my point.  Have you ever r-e-a-l-l-y read the Prescription … Continue reading

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Sunday Mass: Hell on Earth.

At the gentle urging of my wonderful wife, I bring my 5 year-old and 2 year-old to 10am mass.  You know what’s coming–bedlam among the pews.  For those interested I’ve chronicled the debacle below.  Amen. Bedecked in a proper cardigan, … Continue reading

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