Tag Archives: child rearing

Design Triumphs.

I feel assaulted by the sheer number of consumer “conveniences” out there.  I mean really, was life that unbearable without the Rabbit Wine Opener? Sure, it looks exotic–to a Nazi war criminal.  Going for $45, this horny little device evidently … Continue reading

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Jesus, Mary and Jack: Daddy Explains Where Joseph’s Been.

With his second VBS* tour successfully behind him, 4 year-old Jack is a mini theologian.  Well, not really.  He’s mainly enthusiastic, a key characteristic of many religious leaders, and, like any 4 year-old, he’s intensely observing the world around him.  … Continue reading

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Her Name is Reese.

My daughter (just typing this has me all choked up) will soon be 4 months old, and she’s consistently breaking my heart.  An eager explorer, she’s fascinated by all things, things we adults rarely give the time of day, recessed … Continue reading

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Diaper Wars.

No one likes to change diapers.  You’re assaulted by shrieking infant-hydras, mad brachiating baby limbs, herculean diaper deposits, mountains of soiled laundry.  And the remains of a newborn’s umbilical cord, that crusty gorilla finger, further complexify the event.  You have … Continue reading

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The Cult of Kid.

Having a kid is like joining a cult.  You immediately worship them, become a selfless automaton, an unwavering vessel of devotion.  We sprint in service at the slightest coo.  We kneel, penitent before their deific whims.  We change their horrifying … Continue reading

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Toddlers vs. The Bill of Rights.

It’s unimaginable to think that the Bill of Rights is getting trounced by the littlest members of our community.  But it’s happening people.  Toddlers win.  Witness. Wishful thinking. The 1st Amendment, the right to assemble peaceably, is a joke.  Visit … Continue reading

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Hermit Crab Drama: Acts I and II.

Act 1 Named after Rocky Balboa’s turtles, hermit crabs Cuff and Link died under shocking conditions–they froze to death, inside a heated home.  How?  We painted Jack’s room, and in hopes that paint would dry faster, we left the windows … Continue reading

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