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Category Archives: Potpourri
A Vacuum Funeral.
The History Channel’s wildly popular series “Vikings” offers a raucous re-telling of dominance, reportedly the Norman conquest of England by 1066. Not sure about these details as I’m consulting Wikipedia. Regardless, a Viking funeral is likely a sight to behold. … Continue reading
Posted in Gripes, Potpourri
Tagged advertising, history channel, humor, news, vacuum, vikings
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Snow Blower Politics.
This recent blast of snow reminds me of many things. Aside from the initial beauty of snow, school closings and imposed lethargy, a gas-fueled beast reigns–the snow blower. If you have one, you possess the premier Winter accompaniment. Basically, you’re … Continue reading
Great Wolf Lodge: Desirable Water Torture.
Idyllically situated just off Rt. 80 in the Pocono Mountains, the town of Scotrun hosts a colossal indoor/outdoor water park, the truly impressive Great Wolf Lodge. A study in unabashed branding, wild animal motifs and the ubiquitous paw print constantly … Continue reading
Posted in Potpourri
Tagged branding, getaways, Great Wolf Lodge, humor, Pocono Mountains, the shining, water park
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(De)Vice Family.
As of this writing–in real-time–all five of us are consumed, an entire family connected to seemingly divisive devices. Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you–everybody’s on something. Got it. Let’s check-in with these humans and their vices. … Continue reading
When Parenting Doesn’t Suck.
Bottom line? Kids are maniacal, horrifying sub-humans hell bent on destroying our lives. They consistently push boundaries to the point where we lose it, consider leaving them adrift–one more word… AND YOU’RE LIVING IN THE STREETS!! …Um, seems like I forgot the … Continue reading
Kids + BAND-AIDS = Unbridled Obsession.
I recently posted about kids and elevators highlighting their fascination with pressing buttons, transporting themselves up and down, a complete joke to adults. But kids freaking love this vertical crap. What else do kids dig? BAND-AIDS. This is totally appropriate … Continue reading
Kids and Elevators.
There’s nothing more intoxicating for kids than an elevator ride. Pressing buttons, freaking out, the range of emotions expressed during a short ride between floors is cause for drunken celebration, whacked-out posture, even inebriated fear. They live for this sh*t. … Continue reading
Counting Cars.
Always on the look-out for ways to keep the kids occupied, I institute new programs on the fly. Some of you may remember last month’s installment, How To Control Kids: Question Quotas, a fine breach of free speech. A far … Continue reading
How To Control Kids: Question Quotas.
Whether you’re a parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent, or some other source of influence on children, you know kids are wild cards, unruly quasi-citizens who require reigning-in. Without structured discipline these diminutive devils will run us into the ground. I’m all … Continue reading
Posted in Potpourri
Tagged advice, conversation, humor, kids, parenting, questions, random
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Dead Goldfish: A Harrowing True Story.
The death of any child’s pet is cause for concern, be it dog, cat, ferret, crustacean, or in our case, the frighteningly disposable goldfish. The death of Dashey, Jack’s morbidly obese goldfish, is not only a familial loss, it’s a … Continue reading
Deep as a Birdbath 