A Vacuum Funeral.


The History Channel’s wildly popular series “Vikings” offers a raucous re-telling of dominance, reportedly the Norman conquest of England by 1066. Not sure about these details as I’m consulting Wikipedia.  Regardless, a Viking funeral is likely a sight to behold.  Given our inability to record said events, history suggests a vessel ablaze, an aggressive funeral pyre.

On another note, failingly mundane in comparison, I see a similar internment befitting our 2005 vacuum, a brutally aged appliance. At 12+ years in service she meets the same fate.  Our Kenmore Progressive with Direct Drive was a freaking gem in 2005. At an estimated 22lbs and outrageously sucky sucking ability, it’s time we move on.  Here she is, dormant and dark, like the Chernobyl amusement park a day after its demise.

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Her silhouette is both shameful and proud, posture an erect edifice to a by-gone era, a time ripe with cleanliness.  Her “off” button strafed by constant use, sloughed and naked, time-honored access remains.

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What could possibly replace this archetype of domestic suckage?  The Shark® Navigator™ Lift-Away™ Upright Vacuum, of course.  To be truthful, I’m getting ahead of myself–this is day one for our new-fangled plastic super model, an emaciated 12lbs in comparison.

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Ok, alright… so why make such a fuss over this transition of power, this homeowner staple, a seemingly stunod blog post.  I dunno know.  The idea of Vikings and vacuums–cheesily they made me think.

 

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