Dear Santa:
Uh. I need some presents. And dear Santa, and I never got my Christmas tree, and I never went on your sleigh, and I never pet Rudolph before, and I never got some many toys and I never got Polar Express toys, and I never got that before.
(Editor’s Note: I told the boy this was too negative, too self-serving–tell Santa what you’re grateful for…)
I have uh, toys, and I have, I made a gingerbread thing, and I have a house, and a Christmas tree, dear Santa. That’s it.
I want have ah, a apple for Christmas, and I want everything, dear Santa. Yeah, a Batman toy, too. Yeah, I Nerf arrow, Spiderman web pajamas, flying shark.
Been nice to my sister. And I never, never, never, got a toy soldier, and a mountain, and a playset, and I never had these things before, the end.
Ho ho ho.
Jack
Deep as a Birdbath 