We’ve all been there, subject to those who undermine math, the scofflaw jack-asses hell-bent on skirting the system. Some humanoid in front of us unfurls 20+ egregious items, free from compunction, grinning four-thousand teeth astride the check-out aisle. We boil under the affront, having followed the rules, right-minded, suffering those who can read but refuse to comply.
The gaul of these creatures! This is Super Bowl weekend–we have to be here, supermarket drones, grabbing sodium and saccharine-fueled snacks for the big game. I can’t say I’m upset about that, though. I’m an appetizer wolf. We have an alarming number of snacks on the sideline, eagerly awaiting kick-off.
So. Let’s get scientific about this mundane crap.
Actual Case Study:
10:24am, Shop Rite, Anytown USA.
- A hand of bananas, iced tea, potato skins, BBQ chicken wings, pizza rolls, freaking pigs in a blanket, among other gastro-horrors–eight items in total, well below the “about 10 items or less” dictum. Dude in front of me? Twenty-seven items! I have enough time to actually count due to the sheer number of infractions this rat presents. I look–no, glare like a hungry wolf–at this ass-bag, and he knows it. A lame peace-offering, he gently places that plastic cylindrical divider on the conveyor belt–HE STILL HAS EIGHT ITEMS IN HIS CART. The olive branch is rejected, as it should be.
So what’s this about, people? Follow the rules, be cool to one another, offer a lame apology in the face of one’s crappy judgment? Don’t know. Just make sure you use your powers for good.
Here’s to a good game!