On Naming Your Child(ren).


A child’s name is a lifetime blueprint.  Ten cuidado.  Really.  As preliminary evidence, those who don’t like their first name often choose their middle name, if available.

Albeit, pedestrian.

Albeit, pedestrian.

Do you really want to express, much less remember, 4 syllables?  Of course not.  Names are mathematic.  One syllable rules.  And when don’t we enjoy hearing our name?  Never.  Keep it simple.

The most outrageous names I’ve witnessed are as follows.

  1. Richard Finger: What’s the nickname.  Not a question.  Who wants to be associated with that event?
  2. La – a:  The hyphen is pronounced as “dash.”  La-dash-ah.  Three syllables.  Breaks the simplicity rule.  Fail.
  3. Redundancy: I know a Rose Rose.  She married into the name, willingly.  Wow.
  4. Alliteration:  Porn Star status looms.  Be careful.
  5. Family Name:  Tradition is cool, but…  Remain in the times, or risk ostracism.

Names to add?

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10 Responses to On Naming Your Child(ren).

  1. Jean says:

    Just to add to your list, here are some actual people that either my parents knew or I have known.
    Harry Leggs, Rose Bush, Trout (first name), Toof (also a first name – he became an orthodontist so I guess it worked for him), Charles – name given to a girl and yes, she got papers from the draft board, Butch – nickname given to a girl that stuck with her from birth through middle age, a man named Shirley, and a woman named Clyde. These are for real.

  2. Anonymous. says:

    I knew a Fanny Bledsoe (pronounced bled-so) Post this at your own discretion.

  3. Tori Nelson says:

    Oh, Rose Rose. I can’t imagine walking into that on purpose!

  4. amy says:

    Good Stuff Adam. I had a customer this year named Avocado Pitt. I still wonder if she married into the Pitt family or if she was named Avocado Pitt.

  5. Whitney Soup says:

    boring names are worse than really weird names

  6. You’re looking for names to add? Have I got a post for you: http://jessica-jensen.blogspot.com/2011/04/names-2010.html

    Enjoy!

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