Dear Man-With-Two-First-Names:
This letter serves as evidence that you are a world-class fool. I mean really, last Christmas you gave out your heart, and that person gave it away, the very next day? Are you kidding me? I get it, it’s the season for giving, but you’re a lousy judge of character. Think about it–every December, without fail, you lose your heart, over and over.
George, consider this: Last Christmas was released in 1984, so, what, you’ve had your heart broken some 28 times? It’s like you’re mental or something.
You got dumped because of your sweater.
And now, this year is no different–you’re tossing your heart out there again, reportedly to “someone special.” C’mon George, when will you ever learn? This is getting ridiculous. I have to ask: how will you know they’re special? Your track record sucks.
Sincerely,
The Law Firm of Andrew Ridgeley, LLP
Isn’t George Michael the guy with the famous butt? Why doesn’t he give THAT away — it might be worth something.
Solid advice, Mary!
How did all these “heartthrobs” get two first names. That hardly seems fair. Also? George Michael does Halloween (aka The Night My One-Year-Old Tried To Run Away) http://torinelson.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/if-its-any-consolation-bob-barker-was-a-close-second/
Wham! Choose Juice–classic.